|
Post by davidb5964 on Jul 12, 2016 21:20:09 GMT 1
Fancy coming to ours Ali and putting your green fingers to work? Really nice well done.
|
|
|
Post by Ali on Jul 13, 2016 16:42:24 GMT 1
Haha @ Sonnet..... Davidb1664 jest not coz when I've finished my work contract end of November I'll be looking for work over the autumn/winter. Last year I was redecorating other peoples houses and prob same this year but also have all of the implements for gardening (which is a passion of mine - well that and having all of the implements )
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 13, 2016 18:26:25 GMT 1
Funnily enough Ali, when we had a corner shop in Middlesbrough (1978 - 84) I used to drive past the ice cream and coffee bar, Chris Rea's father used to own. Sometimes if you had the car windows rolled down, you could hear Chris rehearsing in the rooms above the cafe....
|
|
|
Post by Ali on Jul 14, 2016 17:14:34 GMT 1
Funnily enough Ali, when we had a corner shop in Middlesbrough (1978 - 84) I used to drive past the ice cream and coffee bar, Chris Rea's father used to own. Sometimes if you had the car windows rolled down, you could hear Chris rehearsing in the rooms above the cafe.... So thats how he came up with 'Road to Hell' then
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2016 17:16:52 GMT 1
You must have driven through Middlesbrough then....
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 9:17:02 GMT 1
Ha! This season's trial is the production of banana plants/trees, and they're coming on strong. Type 'Dwarf Cavendish'. Richly veined, they go mental in a greenhouse or conservatory, and at £30 a pop, they're an earner....
Growing in a mixture of garden compost and gravel, in big tubs, they'll also grow outside at this time of year, in a sheltered, not-necessarily-sunny spot.
Available to forum members at the special price of £40. Buyer collects. Cash only. No refunds. Hurry while stocks last....
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2016 14:14:36 GMT 1
I think this is a case of...."No, we'll have no bananas".....
|
|
|
Post by lib on Aug 9, 2016 19:02:32 GMT 1
Ah, the good old musat cavendishii, always in my mind the Derbyshire Banana.
Probably the most common banana grown. Not like my sophisticated friend Annon to choose anything 'common', but I suppose the Ducal connections do make it a little special.
The tale I was always told was that most the bananas grown in the the South Sea Islands were from one plant sent out to the islands, via a missionary, from the hot house at Chatsworth. At one time late last century nearly half of the worlds exports of bananas were cavendish.
Still grown up in the hot house, seen 'em myself.
Hmmm Annon could be on a good little earner .......
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2016 9:59:56 GMT 1
It seem to me, lib, that you have a natural affinity with banana plants, and so I'm prepared to go 'the extra mile' in your case, particularly as you are an esteemed sage of this forum:
I'm prepared to supply you with one of my banana plants, delivered to your door, for £40, plus carriage £30, plus administration and inconvenience £20. You will know that I'm cutting my own throat letting one go for this sort of money......
Here at Honest Annon's Plant Emporium, we play it straight. We don't offer the world, and we don't deliver it. What we do offer is 'Customer Service'. At my daily team briefings with my staff (all drawn from the local backward rural community, on zero-hour contracts with absolutely no employee rights whatsoever) I drum into them that visitors to the Emporium have money, and that we want it. We're prepared to give them something in return for their money, but not a lot...
In this way my employees are totally focussed. They just know that if I don't earn a shilling, they're out of a job. So committed are they to keeping their jobs that they go 'the extra mile'. They know that 'Sex Sells' so the women turn up in low-cut tops and short skirts. In this way sad-act middle-aged men, with their wizened wives looking on, feel virile and ready to do the sales assistant a favour, by buying something. Always implied is that rampant sex with a bimbo is yours if you buy something....
Who, in their right mind, would try to earn an honest shilling any other way??? Come to Honest Annon's Plant Emporium.....
|
|
|
Post by lib on Aug 10, 2016 22:48:36 GMT 1
Hmmmm ------ Whilst I am sorely tempted by your amazing offer, I must with heavy heart, turn down the chance to own my very own 'nana plant.
You, Sir as one of our thrusting entrepreneurs do deserve an explanation of my reasons.
Yes, I do have an affinity with the smooth curved Musa especially when fully ripe and in its prime. I think it all started in my youth when several nubile young women nicknamed me 'Banana Boy'. Never fully understood it , 'cos I was not yellow.
Hearing of your staff and the aims of the 'Ladies' to go the extra mile to achieve full customer satisfaction I would be sorely tempted, if I was in the market, to pay a personal visit to your emporia just to experience first hand the implied promise of rampant sex ....... but sadly, my days of tumescence appear to be somewhat haphazard. A limp excuse I can hear you mutter.
My hesitancy in accepting your tempting offer must be told. You state that you would be 'cutting your own throat' at the price of the deal ......
Well that rang warning bells as to your sales training and ethical outlook. I accuse you of being an acolyte of the infamous CMOT Dibbler aka Claude Maximillian Overton Transpire Dibbler. Many have been the warnings issued by Mr T Pratchett in dealing with this charlatan; so no sale.
I would not be surprised if your next offer was a Nana inna bun .....
|
|