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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 15:37:28 GMT 1
We all have these daily little mmm problems with each other and so I am sure you all have some good stories/jokes to tell-- even funny ones too ;D ;D ;D
So get em out and off your chest--
Long live the free approach(man thing)
It all started a long long time ago with Adam and that Eve person haha---
Adam and Eve
One day, Adam sat outside the Garden of Eden shortly after eating the apple, and wondered about men and women. So looking up to the heavens he says, "Excuse me GOD, can I ask you a few questions?"
GOD replied, "Go on Adam but be quick I have a world to create."
So Adam says, "When you created Eve, why did You make her body so curvy and tender unlike mine?"
"I did that, Adam, so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You give her long, shiny, beautiful hair, and not me?"
"I did that Adam so that you could love her."
"Oh, well then, why did You make her so stupid? Certainly not so that I could love her?"
"Well Adam, no. I did that so that she could love you."
definatly think that big G has a warped sense of humour!!
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 15:51:46 GMT 1
Rules That Guys Wished Girls Knew
and this list is massive--so here are just a few to get ya going ok:-
If you think you're fat, you probably are Don't ask us. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if can find the perfect present, again! If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect answer you don't want to hear. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is not a sport. Anything you wear is fine. Really. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your dad probably is too. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think he'd bei any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. A headache that lasts for 1 week is a problem. See a doctor. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. Check your oil. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are? Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
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Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2011 17:08:49 GMT 1
Another fantastic post Pasha.
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 18:34:08 GMT 1
Glad ya like them britchick-- xxxx wish that they where mine --but most come from out there--just like this one lol--
Quotes From The Perfect Man There ought to be a law against those porno movies. Can you believe that there are guys that would actually, want their wives to do those things they show? My golf clubs are only 30 years old. Why don't you use the money my parents gave us to get something nice for the house? Sports cars are just such stupid little toys for men who have never really grown up. You know, we really don't visit your relatives enough. Why don't you relax this weekend? I'll take care of the cooking and housework. Quotes From The Perfect Woman I'm sorry for leaving the toilet seat down, dear. I don't see what the big deal about those Chippendale dancers is. I prefer a man with some meat on his bones. I was wrong ... you were right. I'm sorry I argued. Forget Ally McBeal, let's watch Monday Night Football and have a belching contest. Just wear whatever you want to my parents'. You always look just fine!
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Post by troll on Feb 13, 2011 18:50:46 GMT 1
Brilliant Pash. Have you thought of a career in marriage guidance?
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 19:50:37 GMT 1
naw trolley xx not my scene lol-- very good helping others from experience of my own to others --but totally ucked it up in mine hahaha
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 19:51:30 GMT 1
Quotes From The Perfect Man There ought to be a law against those porno movies. Can you believe that there are guys that would actually, want their wives to do those things they show? My golf clubs are only 30 years old. Why don't you use the money my parents gave us to get something nice for the house? Sports cars are just such stupid little toys for men who have never really grown up. You know, we really don't visit your relatives enough. Why don't you relax this weekend? I'll take care of the cooking and housework. Quotes From The Perfect Woman I'm sorry for leaving the toilet seat down, dear. I don't see what the big deal about those Chippendale dancers is. I prefer a man with some meat on his bones. I was wrong ... you were right. I'm sorry I argued. Forget Ally McBeal, let's watch Monday Night Football and have a belching contest. Just wear whatever you want to my parents'. You always look just fine!
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 19:53:57 GMT 1
damm haha -- thought I had copied another one but no--mmmm
never mind-- thinking to himself --tis one less to that 30000 postline hahaha
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 20:52:09 GMT 1
Female Bashing --Ya gotta love it lol!!
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you. Q: Why do women have smaller feet then men? A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink. Q: How do you fix a women's watch? A: You don't. There's a clock on the oven. Q: Why do men pass more gas than women do? A: Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure. Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, which do you let in first? A: The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in. Q: What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A: A women who won't do what she's told. Q: What do you call a woman with two brain cells? A: Pregnant. Q: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? A: Divorced.
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Post by troll on Feb 14, 2011 12:46:47 GMT 1
Oh, dear pasha, Will you be my Valentine?.
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