The Dumb Blond Jokes Selection

[danceswithruskies]

As we all know blonds are supposed to be dumb and every one knows jokes about them --and some of us even know blonds who fit this profile-- ;D ;D

So This jokes thread is dedicated to all the dumb blonds out there--

We loves ya all dearly hahahah--

So add your little ditty to this thread ok--

[danceswithruskies]

There was a blonde who was tired of all the blonde jokes and decided to dye her hair brown. She then went for a drive in the country and came upon a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
She asked the shepherd, "If I guess how many sheep there are here, can I keep one?"
He replied "Sure!"
Out of the blue, she blurts out, "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick out a sheep. She looks and searches and finally picks out the cutest one.
He looks at her and says, "If I guess what color your hair really is, can I have my dog back!"

[danceswithruskies]

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any writing on it?
Blonde: Yes it does.
Doctor: And what does it say?
Blonde: It says "Pull"

[danceswithruskies]

How do you make a Ali laugh on Saturday night?

Tell her a joke on thursday...

[danceswithruskies]

Sorry Ali--xxx--- Read this and you came to my mind hahaha-- ok--- go pink me then hahaha

Q: What do blondes and wine bottles have in common?
A: Both are empty from the neck up.

[danceswithruskies]

Oh and just before I get pinked or stuff like that --here is another Ali one har har--

Ali the blonde was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around Brittany and look for odd jobs as a handy-woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Ali, "Yeah, I have a job for ya. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure that sounds great!" said Ali. "Well, uh, how much do you want?" asked the man. "Is fifty euro's OK?" Ali asked. "Yeah that's great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage." The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty euro's! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife. "Well she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 15 minutes later, Ali knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Ali replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Ali. "Oh, and by the way,"said Ali, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[tobyjug]

> The plane is on its way to Houston when a blonde in Economy Class gets
up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight
attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then
tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to
sit in the back. The blonde replies: "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, I'm
going to Houston, and I'm staying right here!"
> > The flight attendant goes to the cockpit and tells the Captain and
Copilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that
belongs in Economy
> > and she will not move back to her seat. The Copilot goes back to the
blonde
> > and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will
have to
> > leave First Class and return to her seat.
> > The blonde replies, "I'm blond, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Houston,
and I am going to sit right here."
> > The Copilot returns to the cockpit and tells the Captain that he
should have
> > the police waiting when they land to arrest the blonde woman as she
won't listen to reason. The Captain says, "You say she's blonde? I
will handle this. I'm married to a blonde, I speak blonde. "He goes
back to the blonde,
> > whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," and she gets up
and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight
attendant and copilot are amazed and ask him what he said to make her
move without any fuss. I told her, "First Class isn't going to
Houston."
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >

[danceswithruskies]

The Perfect Christmas Tree

Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, "I can't take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let's just pick one whether it's decorated or not!"

[danceswithruskies]

New Puppys

Ali and her blond mates went to the dog pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the lurcher said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?"

This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, Ali said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours."

The next day the lurcher comes running up to Ali when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing."

"OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says Ali. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars.

Again, the next day, Ali comes running up to lurcher as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing."

"There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says Ali.

After several more hours of concentration, the lurcher finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!"

[danceswithruskies]

Are You Really Sure?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."