kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Aug 20, 2011 23:15:33 GMT 1
My sexy blonde neighbour looked over the garden fence and asked, "What was that washing powder you gave me?" "Vanish," I replied. "Well it really works," she said. "My panties have disappeared off the line."
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Aug 21, 2011 11:56:59 GMT 1
Took the blond wife to the Ann summers sex shop today.
I said. "Pick any vibrator you want and I'll pay for it.
She said. "I'll have that big red one in the corner."
I said. "You can't have that one, its a fire extinguisher."
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Post by Pasha on Sept 22, 2011 6:46:07 GMT 1
Suicide Blonde Goes To The Hospital!
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"So then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"So then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 27, 2011 21:47:48 GMT 1
A young blonde girl in the pub last night said to me . "If I had £1.00 for every time someone called stupid today, I'd have £4.50
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Post by Pasha on Jan 16, 2012 18:43:23 GMT 1
This is a story about poor ali (blond) flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. Ali frantically calls a May Day: "May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!" All of a sudden ali hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is the tower... I have received your message, and I will talk you through it. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. Now, just relax... Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position." She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat." "O.K." says the voice from the tower. "Repeat after me:...Our Father. . . Who art in Heaven . . . .."
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Post by Pasha on Mar 2, 2012 9:48:12 GMT 1
Several days ago as Ali left a meeting at the local church, she desperately gave herself a personal TSA pat down.she was looking for her keys. They were not in her pockets or purse. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly ali realized, she must have left them in the car. Frantically, she headed for the parking lot. Fli, had scolded her many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. Her theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Fli's theory is that the car will be stolen. As she burst through the doors of the church, she came to a terrifying conclusion. His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
She immediately called the police-- gave them her location, confessed that she had left her keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then she made the most difficult call of all, “Honey,” She stammered. She always call him “honey” in times like these. “I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen.”
There was a period of silence. She thought the call had been dropped, but then she heard Fli’s voice. “ALI” he barked, “Don't you remember that I dropped you off ?!?” Now it was her time to be silent. Embarrassed, She said, “Well, come and get me.”
Fli retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince these two policemen that I have not stolen your car?”
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