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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 11:27:06 GMT 1
There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 15:24:10 GMT 1
Keeping fit
An overweight blonde went to see her doctor for some advice.
The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days.
This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the whole twenty pounds.
She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results.
At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question:
"How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 13, 2011 15:26:57 GMT 1
Breast hanging out A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open.
A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out."
As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out.
When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Well, your breast is hanging out."
She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus!"
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 16, 2011 12:05:20 GMT 1
What do you get when you put seven blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 16, 2011 12:05:59 GMT 1
Did you hear about the two blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
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Post by Pasha on Apr 5, 2011 7:57:58 GMT 1
AN OUTSTANDING STUDENT or Ali at school A blond girl/ali comes back from school one evening. She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?" "Yes darling, very good." "Is that because I'm blond?" "Yes darling, it's because you're blond." Next day, the little girl/ali comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! It's good "innit?" "Yes darling, very good." "Is that because I'm blond, mummy?" "Yes darling it's because you're blond. Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D's at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blond, mummy?" "No darling, it's because you're 25." ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Pasha on Apr 28, 2011 15:09:01 GMT 1
Q: Why couldn't the blonde(aka ali)write the number ELEVEN ?
A: She didn't know what ONE came first..
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Post by Pasha on Apr 28, 2011 15:10:53 GMT 1
here's a real naughty maffs plus blonde one haha
Q. How do you teach a blonde maths?
A. Subtract Her clothes, divide Her legs, and square root her.
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Post by Pasha on Apr 28, 2011 15:17:08 GMT 1
THE GREAT BLONDE KIDNAP
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
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Post by Pasha on May 20, 2011 19:48:58 GMT 1
Two young blonde women were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one ball about three feet from the cup, while the other ball somehow had gone directly in.
The blondes tried to figure out which ball belonged to who, since they were both using Titleist number threes. Unable to decide, they returned to the clubhouse and asked the golf pro for a ruling.
After hearing their story and congratulating them both on their superb shots under such adverse conditions the pro asked, "Okay, so who was playing the yellow ball?"
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