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Post by mirabelle on Feb 28, 2011 9:58:33 GMT 1
Weed in it!!" ;D
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Post by ianh on Feb 28, 2011 19:42:04 GMT 1
Weed in it? Mirabelle ran to get her rizzlas, but the weight of the elephant on her lap led her to fall over, crashing into the archbishop of Canterbury who fell on the now prone figure of Julian Clary, who had also "fallen" over the comatose figure of Pasha the wonder dog (the first member of BWI who was continually in orbit - except when he was under the archbishop). "Is that Cheeky Chops?" he mumbled. Whereupon, ....
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Post by mirabelle on Mar 5, 2011 10:42:10 GMT 1
the archbishop untangled himself from the pile of bodies, straightened his crumpled attire then stomped off on his platform boots out of the Cowpat & Syringe mutterring about "Hooligans & riff raff..............." "Ooh get HER!" shreiked Julian " "No sense of humour there dearie for I like a man who laughs aloud!" Pash scuttled off to the Gents loo stifling a guffaw.
"Now whilst I have you lot here we need to be thinking about the Barn Dance next week. I've done my bit, got the barn sorted out, the straw bales and the cider cocktails fermenting nicely. Who was supposed to be organising the music??" Mirabelle looked acusingly at Ian who suddenly felt guilty because he had clean forgotten what with transplanting all those cheddar cheese seedlings.
Bummer, he was for it now and most especially concerned since he had seen Mirabelle out in her yard wielding that gigantic axe about, followed by the sight of her pinning a poacher to the fence with her little tomahawk from a 20 yard distance. He'd been impressed at the time but that was now replaced with FEAR! Oh gawd!
"Ermmmm yes that was me" mumbled Ian " But in my favour I can only say that I have been very busy doing things, like
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Post by Fli on Mar 5, 2011 12:09:19 GMT 1
cleaning this liquid brown stuff off the floor. Pasha came running in slipped on the brown stuff and tasted it. Whats this asked Pasha, sheepishly Ianh said, chocolate yogurt Pash,mmmmm tastes good said Pasha. Elkay entered, chewing her forth banana of the day, whats that in your pocket pash? or are you just glad to see me. Before Pash had time to answer Princessmango entered with a strange man next to her, Ianh felt his legs go to jelly. "This is my great great great grandfather everyone" may I introduce Lord Lucan, he looks a bit past his sell-by date, he lives in Midsummer. Entered Inspector Barnaby. Ah, princessmango who's that odd looking man you have with you? Its my great great grandfather who's come along for the barn dance, he's the star turn. Mirabelle whispered into Elkay's ear -
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Post by danceswithruskies on Mar 5, 2011 13:47:36 GMT 1
"Star turn my big ingrowing toenail"
"And why is he wearing red stockings and suspenders ---outside his trousers!!"
She started laughing loudly--
" God help us if Troll sees him on the stage-- you know how excited she gets when she sees red flaunted in front of her!!"
To which Eklay replied with a wry smile on her face--
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Post by mirabelle on Mar 6, 2011 13:53:06 GMT 1
"You wait until she sees the band I've arranged for the barn dance! The Yodelaydees - an austrian oompah ensemble I saw when I went on my hols to Salzberg.................. but they all wear red lederhosen & flowery braces!!!!" Now this was going to be amusing!
Lord Lucan shuffled off to the bar to pick up his crisps,his stockings twanging with every step, but en route back to his seat Troll spotted him and made a sudden lunge forwards with steam bursting from her ears. "Worrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! Red sussies!!!!!!"
Lord Lucan ran as fast as his aged legs could carry him then shut himself in the cellar as Troll hammerred on the door baying like a wolf.
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Post by danceswithruskies on Mar 7, 2011 8:32:35 GMT 1
"OIY YOU--Haul it!!!!" ---shouts Ali from the far corner of the cellar stirring stuff in a huge blackened cauldron--
"You can't come in here when I am cooking T!!!!--- This is a very delicate mix and ------"
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Post by ianh on Mar 8, 2011 15:46:52 GMT 1
But her words were drowned by the clattering of hooves - Lord Lucan had leapt upon Shergar and was galloping frantically to escape the clutches of the Troll. Unfortunately, in trying to jump the Turkish lady-boy Ali's cauldron, the aged Shergar's trailing hoof knocked it off its tripod, sending the contents spilling and splashing across the floor. "Whatever you do, don't get it on your skin" screamed Ali, "It's my special Witches Institute potion, concocted by the high priestesses (otherwise known as moddy girls), and made from boiled bottom burps, the bones of prisoners from CC's cellar, roasted salamanders, moorhen feathers, fox poo scraped off Ian's pup, pubic hair scraped off simson's worn out mattress, and Britchick's hat. A tiny pipette drop gives the wizard FliCatcher a four day erection". (His previous best was forty seconds). But it was too late, everyone in the Cowpat and Syringe were already ankle deep in the liquid, including the lady-boy's elephant namesake, Ali. And then the fun began......
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Post by mirabelle on Mar 10, 2011 10:35:36 GMT 1
Julian fell to the floor lapping up the foetid liquid, gulping it down like he had the jug of Pimms & brown ale only moments before. "Cripes" thought Pash aloud "Time to leave methinks!"
"I say old bean" came a rather posh voice across the din "One is trying to eat one's lunchie-poos here! Do you oiks mind awfully going outside to do this sort of thing? Puts one orf one's sardine & custard ravioli in a jus of beetroot, what??"
Yes he was back again. That snotty Andrew bloke, the golf bore who chuntered-on endlessly about albatrosses and mashie-niblicks, that is when he was'nt endlessly banging-on about his precious Mummy or how the world has misjudged him because of that ex-wife of his or his grubby little cronies.
Julian stopped in his tracks on hearing that plummy voice. "Oh me oh my!!". He sighed deeply when his eyes alighted upon the chubby little bloke in the Snug being spoonfed by his butler - it was love at first sight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Julian approached Andrew stealthily through the quagmire on the floor - nothing was going to stand in his way now
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Post by Pasha on Mar 27, 2011 7:08:40 GMT 1
But what was afoot?? he was so engrossed in his forward motions --that he failed to see-- A big hairy long nailed foot sliding across the floor and straight between his legs--
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