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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 12, 2011 20:13:11 GMT 1
and her thumb was quite contented to slurp up the sweet sticky stuff, but then-
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Post by blu on Feb 13, 2011 17:11:55 GMT 1
was attacked by two flying furballs called ................
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Post by Ali on Feb 17, 2011 10:18:23 GMT 1
.......Ted & Wilf the feisty prikly terros who'd recently escaped from Alcatraz and had been sleeping quietly in the kitchen until disturbed by the gentle whiff of boiling offal broth, soup of the day at the Cowpat & Syringe, which was the only thing Piffle the chef could cook apart from the books.
The kitchen door burst open and Julian Clary was wearing an elephant tail around his scrawny neck - what is in that broth he exclaimed, peering into the shadowy grey soup, casting an eye around he alighted upon...........
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Post by mirabelle on Feb 17, 2011 13:15:52 GMT 1
the most exquisite creature he had ever seen, a vision in gold lame, with fabulous bouffant hair, make up and nails to die for!!!
"OMG!!" he splutterred. "Who can this be??"
As he approached this vision in lamé drooling like a rottweiler, the figure sidestepped immediately brushing aside the hand that ws just about to pinch the substantial bottom bursting over the top of the spandex leggings. "Do not touch!" hissed the goddess "I've just spent three hours in Madame Fifi's Emporium being groomed for my evening out, therefore I do not want your grubby little mitts on my posterior. Go away!!!" Unperturbed Julian tried again. WHAM - a right hook sent him sprawling onto the kitchen floor.
"Listen you! warned the figure in gold "Keep your hands off. Who do you think you are? Silvio Berlusconi? These goods are not for the likes of YOU so clear off!" and off it waddled on a pair of the highest gold platform boots anyone had ever seen since the heyday of Slade.
Julian was devastated at the rebuttal from the most gorgeous creature he had ever seen so decided to drown his sorrows. "I'll have a flagon of Calvados & Creme de Menthe mine host." then he sobbed over the bar towels bemoaning his loss and abject despair. The flagon arrived smoking menacingly, then Julian took an almighty swig as Pash arrived to "help him drink it" - so he said. Fortified by a decent swig of Julian's booze Pash thought he'd better try to make conversation. "Errrr. So you've met the Archbishop of Canterbury then?" Julian was aghast.....................
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Post by ianh on Feb 17, 2011 18:13:14 GMT 1
He'd just been touching Mirabelle's botttom and had been rebuffed. Not only that but Ali the elephant had also grown immensely fond of Mirabelle, his new mistress and the only woman in whose lap he could fit. "You touch her again, and I'll squash Fanny the wonder dog" he trumpeted across the bar. Meanwhile, the Archbishop had recognised his former pupil at the seminary and, remembering the many nights when he'd tried to teach him the doctrine of 'loving thy neighbour', staggered across to help him drink his flagon. At that moment Mirabelle re-entered and fell, twisting her ankle on the gold platform boots, and accidentally did what her new pet had threatened - except she landed on her own fanny and it was mightily squashed. Pasha, ever the Russian nobleman, of course did the decent thing and offered to......
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Post by Ali on Feb 22, 2011 18:32:36 GMT 1
.......... pick her up and dust her down with his infrequently used feather duster which was tucked into his pinny pocket. Feathers tickling her madly Mirabelle all agog sneezed up a Chihuahua. Oh Fanny Julian shrieked how did you wriggle up there! Meanwhile the frequently farting poacher was still prowling outside looking through windows at the goings on with his personal baggage handler Ares, who'd snuck in from behind, wondering when he could pull his trump card and sneek into the back-door of Mirabelles shed.
Oh mon dieu a flic yelled......... have you seen........
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Post by Elkay on Feb 22, 2011 18:45:26 GMT 1
what's going on in there? Marcel, don't look or you'll never recover. Come away quickly, or we will be dealing with paperwork for these foreigners for the rest of our miserable careers. What on earth are they drinking? Come on, lets creep away from here before we are seen and go to Giles' bar where we can have a pastis or three
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 23, 2011 10:50:30 GMT 1
and you know they are always busy gassing so will not notice the odd pastie or two gone missing from their plates. But just as they where about to sneak away ---
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Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 27, 2011 6:45:01 GMT 1
when the sounds of heavy huffing and puffing could be heard outside over the clanking and clicking of dragged objects--- "OIY-- YOU LOT IN THERE!" came the distinctive voice of-
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Post by Fli on Feb 28, 2011 9:22:37 GMT 1
Andy Pandy, who was dragging two huge flower pots towards the shed. Andy, who was still wearing the most hideous striped outfit was annoyed that weeds were growing from the rotting compost left in the flower pots, god this compost smells fowl said Andy, someone must have:-
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