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Post by mirabelle on Feb 4, 2011 19:22:48 GMT 1
"Excellent for the roses my dear!"
Alan Titchmarsh scooped up the offending item into a pooper scooper, he stuck it into a tesco carrier bag dangling on his bicycle handlebars then set off towards the commotion down the lane beside the overturned van.
Ronnie was completely taken aback. "Fork andles?" he mutterred. "Nope. That bloody elephant!" replied Blu " And exactly who is that weirdo in the Ku Klux Klan outfit by the way?"
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Post by jackie on Feb 5, 2011 10:29:33 GMT 1
'Let's unmask him!' declared blu, whipping off his pointy hat.
'Goodness!, it's stavros!' exclaimed mirabelle.
'And if it wasn't for you pesky kids, I'd have got away with it' grumbled stavros. 'I've been after that elephant for months. I have an Escoffier recipe for 'blanquette d'elephant' I've been wanting to try for months, you have to eat it with your head under a blanket because...
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Post by mirabelle on Feb 5, 2011 11:17:46 GMT 1
Greenpeace will be after you".
"And me!" shouted Mirabelle as she slapped Stavros around the head hard for DARING to even think of putting Jumbo into some recipe. " Come on Jumbo! Let's take you home to meet Mr. Yeti..................."
Jumbo dutifully followed. His tail swished gently, he trumpeted, trumped, then left another HUGE deposit on top of Stavros who wailed pitifully seeing his beautifully laundered KKK robes covered in elephant dung. "Flaming Nora! The Grand Vizir won't half have a go at me later!"
The van was finally unloaded then the boxes despatched off to Mirabelle's shed to open that evening when Les Flics are undoubtedly in the Bar, so everybody decided it would be a great idea to head of for a swifty at the Cowpat & Syringe. Yaaayyyyyy! Off they all went, led by
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Post by lurcher on Feb 5, 2011 12:24:41 GMT 1
Ianh, who was knackered from just burying his poor old pig, followed by....
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Post by Elkay on Feb 5, 2011 15:55:11 GMT 1
Pasha, who had heard Stavros talking about the Grand Vizier, and assumed he meant him. "Did someone call, he asked". "No", said Flaming Nora, "I heard Stavros calling me too but they don't seem to want either of us, or anyone else, for that matter, to see what they are stashing in Mirabelle's shed"
As Pasha and Flaming were trying to peer into the shed, Ian arrived with a large bag of pork mince and started to hit them both over the head with it
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Post by lurcher on Feb 5, 2011 16:32:08 GMT 1
With all the commotion going on around the shed, and the villagers cramming into the Cowpat and Syringe, only one person had noticed the frequent farting poacher, who was trying to nick TJ's yearly supply of Fixodent......
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Post by Ali on Feb 5, 2011 16:48:23 GMT 1
........which was still stuck to his teeth! As TJ mouthed abuse at all the commotion going on next door and the theft of his fixadent looking downwards he noticed he wasnt wearing his tartan slippers; there was slimey elephant dung squeezing through his toes.
Meanwhile in Mirabelles shed one of the boxes was rocking gently and fell to the floor spilling its contents of.............
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Post by blu on Feb 5, 2011 18:32:57 GMT 1
precious art, and sure enough there was Blu hiding in the back of the shed looking for old masters ...
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Post by jackie on Feb 6, 2011 14:21:35 GMT 1
however the frequent farting poacher had noticed that she was alone . 'Aha!' he said 'Now's my chance' He crept into the shed where blu had found what she thought was an undiscovered Monet masterpiece.
'A woo-ing we shall go, a woo-ing we shall go' he hummed quietly to himself. But luckily as he neared blu he was spotted by...
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Post by Ali on Feb 6, 2011 14:39:20 GMT 1
...........Ten tonne Tess from Tiddlington who drove the boulangerie van.
Knowing full well she was still on English plates & tiddled as usual had already made a sly call to the Cowpat & Syringe for assurance the flics were still in there so she could do her rounds!
Ten tonne Tess heaved open the shed door, the exertion was too much; she promply sat on the Monet. The frequent farting poacher slid away unseen by blu who's head was in a box of remenant Rembrants.
Meanwhile along at the Cowpat & Syringe............
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