The Epic Tales of Dingly Dell

[mirabelle]

only it was'nt just the gatepost.......................... the danged silly creature somehow pushed the telegraph pole over sending it crashing on top of the delivery van that was heading towards the village. The one containing the mysterious delivery for Mirabelle of course.

Having poleaxed, quite literally, the poor old delivery man in his van, the bull ambled off quietly heading towards Ali's brussel sprout patch that he'd noticed some time ago when the farmer had brought him to the field to "service" the lady cows. Indeed, he noticed nothing about the commotion as the residents arrived on the scene to drag out the driver and the crushed boxes from his van, nor Pash being propped up against the stile because he was unable to stand upright any longer.

[Elkay]

Nurse Cheeky Chops sprang into action. Running back to the bar to fetch her medication trolley where she'd parked it near the bike shed she suddenly realised

[Madame Moorhen]

she had forgotten to deliver the packet of little blue pills that one of the regulars in the Cowpat & Syringe has asked her for. 'Oh well there won't be any standing to attention today' she thought, 'I've got far more important issues to deal with' as she reached in her medical bag to retrieve

[jackie]

.....a large box of Alka-Seltzer & an intravenous drip. There was only one man who could save the delivery man's life with his special healing hands & that was Pash! But she needed him sobered up, and sobered-up fast! 'Quick!' She shouted 'We're also going to need some...'

[tobyjug]

garden hose,a big bottle of Dettol , a funnel and some radishes, the idea being to put the wind up him and improve his colonic recovery time, CC stood and stamped her feet to keep warm and being near the flatulent ferret pub nipped in for a glass of her

[kerbut]

special cellar brew, TJ had tried this before but now mixes it with Benedictine and chocolate Flake bar because it makes his

[Elkay]

hair stand on end if he takes it neat

[lib]

Him not being renowned for doing neat especially in his dress,( but thats another story).

A call came out for a fastener to connect the hose pipe to the funnel; no one wanting to risk a blowback.

TJ had his string whipped from him by Elkay, this of course left the poor old bugger with little support for his trackie bottoms. The elastic of course had long perished. Gravity took over and with a slithery sort of sucky sound the garment descended.

At that moment troll was passing by ........ Oh my god she cried (Mon Dieu really) is that a dead bird in a funnny nest stuck to that old codgers belly?

She did no more than reaching out a hand......................

[Elkay]

but as she did so, J arrived on her trusty wheeled steed and said "Oh no you don't, hands off" and covered the it neatly with her raincover while TJ readjusted his dress and reclaimed his dignity

[jackie]

Meanwhile, Mirabelle is having no luck finding any garden hose. 'It's no good Cheeky, I've searched everywhere but can't find any' she panted.

'Right! There's only one thing for it!' replied Cheeky-Chops. 'You're going to have to get some from my cellar. I always keep a few rolls of it down there as it can be used for a wide variety of punishments for norty boys'.

So Mirabelle (not without some trepidation) set of for Cheeky's cellar. She had heard terrible tales of what went on there, like the time...