JAKE'S DEAD

[annon101]

Today I had my dog, Jake, put down, put to sleep, executed.

An event which has torn the guts out of me.  I'm one sad, lonely old man now.

Trite it is to say that he was my life.  In his name I'll do what I can with what I've got left.

[littlemouse]

sorry about your dog

[annon101]

Thanks, littlemouse. You'll never know how much your post means to me.  I didn't post to get sympathy for something so difficult for me.  I just  wanted, needed, to say something to help me to cope.

Yet you felt something too.  A complete stranger.  God bless you.  Even if you don't give a flying f****ck about God.

You've helped me to cope.  Thank you.

[littlemouse]

Its now mid october, how are you doing? have you decided about having another dog or not?

[annon101]

Well the weeds are invading his grave in the garden, littlemouse, so in their way they're drawing a veil over it, in a gentle way.

The house feels empty.  I don't need to decide to get another dog, there's a place for one, and one will come along without my looking for it, as all my other dogs did, I'll just bide my time, I think that it's meant to be that another dog will be sent to me, at some time, not just now, but perhaps in 2020.

[annon101]

And another thing.... My last reply didn't really say what I wanted to say....

Sure I'm still struggling to cope, and choose to keep myself to myself, and avoid social interaction 'cos I'm in no mood to ask after anyone else, to offer to help them, 'cos I'm wrapped up in myself.....

Fanciful though it may be I ask myself what would Jake say? Now I'm beginning to believe that he would say go out and be as big as you can be.  Reach out for another dog, and strike up a relationship with it as you did for me. ... Find love and devotion again.......

F++++ck we've only got one life.  There ain't no time for my feeling sorry for myself.  Just f**ck off and do your best.

A state of mind I've reached because of your posts, littlemouse.  God bless you, even if you don't etc, etc.....

[littlemouse]

Well there is a first someone who follows what I say. ha ha

Good to hear that you are off out on the pull, well maybe not on the pull, but off out anyway.

[annon101]

Here's a speedy reply, littlemouse, 'cos I'm on a hurry....

First I don't think that I'm doing what you say. I think I'm doing what Something Else says, and that you were merely the messenger....

Second, I'm on my way to the pub to show my face for the first time in weeks.  I've got a place there and I'm no good to anyone else staying away...

I'll take the car and go out of my way to get an Indian takeaway too - bring on the Vindaloo!  I'll leave the car parked up and walk home - something I used to do, and enjoyed the walk back along the lonely lanes.  I'm gonna live again, and count my blessings...

Thanks littlemouse.

[annon101]

Update! Jake's still dead. No change there then, however much my thoughts turn to him.....

Don't know why I bother to post. The sky's blue and the sun bright. Maybe his passing is just another example of the world unfolding as it should. Must say that I'm at peace with that.

[annon101]

Ha! I'm still dogless...

And I'm still lonely.  God I want a dog.  Jake you are irreplacable (sp?). But another of your kind I'm still in need of.... 

One such hasn't come along yet.  I tell myself to be patient.  Just be there, in mind and body, and one will be sent to you eventually....

I suspect that God means nothing to you.  He/She/It means everything to me.  I'd've topped myself by now without a belief in Him/She/It.  I continue to be ready when Something Else decides that the time is right.... 

There you go.  Another wasted reflection.  But I'll make it anyway. Before I die.