kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Dec 4, 2011 9:02:29 GMT 1
The wife said I was so gullible .. and I believed her.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Jan 3, 2012 11:32:38 GMT 1
After my lastest bad performance in the bedroom, the wife assures me that size doesn't matter, but all of her dildos look like they're missing a lamp shade.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Feb 1, 2012 19:28:49 GMT 1
The wife said to me sleazily, "Tonight, you can name me and treat me like any character from a James Bond film..." "Ok OddJob, get the ironing done."
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Feb 14, 2012 10:32:15 GMT 1
Bought the wife a some of those French nicker things and sexy lingerie for Valentines day. She unwrapped it, held it up to her, and laughed "How long have we been together? and you still don't know my size. This won't fit me at all." I said "I wish I hadn't bothered now, and it's not as if you've got anything to put in it anyway." She said "I was thinking the same thing when I bought you those Calvin Klein boxers.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Feb 16, 2012 8:59:01 GMT 1
My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with anagrams.
woc dlo.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Jun 24, 2012 8:02:32 GMT 1
I think it's time the wife went on a diet. She opened the bedroom curtains this morning, saying "Oh my god, what a lovely sunny day." I was still lying in total darkness.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Jun 24, 2012 8:12:27 GMT 1
I thought I'd try it on last night, so I started to slide my hand up the wife's nightie. She rolled over and said, "Is that all you think about?" I said, "Yep", "and that's all I do... think about it."
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Jul 2, 2012 15:41:22 GMT 1
I was sat watching the TV with my mate the other day when the wife came in and interrupted me with some stupid and random questions. "How many years have we been married?" she asked. "Errrrr, 15 love." I replied. "Oh god!, do you think I'm getting old? How old do I look?" she asked. "Errrrr, 30 love." I replied. "N'awww good answer, now do you actually know how old I am though?!" "Errrrr, 40 love." I replied. "Bloody hell, you're impressing me today!" she replied. "Game, set and match. Sorry darling, was just watching the tennis, what was you saying?"
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Jul 4, 2012 6:42:02 GMT 1
The wife caught me watching a porn film and started having a go at me, again!. I had to stop her in mid flow, so to speak. I said, "Hold on love , you're reading that new book, 50 Shades of Grey. That's reading porn!" She replied, "No! This book has a storyline to it." "Yeah! So does my film. The busty MILF can't afford to pay the plumbers!"
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Jul 6, 2012 5:43:55 GMT 1
The wife asked, "Do you want to make love to me when I'm wearing something sexy or when I'm just stark naked?" "No,"
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