My French wife.

[kergotu]

The wife thinks our sex life has got boring and that I'm easily distracted.

Oh well, better get back to it I suppose. ;D

[kergotu]

I donated some blood for the wife after she was badly injured some years ago.

Now after the divorce, I want it back!

She throws a tampon in my face and say's, "I'll pay you back monthly.

And the moral of the story is.


Even if a woman pays you back what she owes, there will always be a string attached.

[kergotu]

Me and the wife thought we're have sex in the middle of a dark forest last night.

After 15 minutes on the job, I got up and said, "I wish I had brought a flashlight."

The wife says, "So do I, You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

[kergotu]

My ex-wife can't stop beating herself up about the fact I got to keep the voodoo doll of her in the divorce settlement.

[kergotu]

The wife came in moaning, again.

"I'm sick of you wasting your time with all these inventions! None of them fu**ing work anyway!"

It was at that point in time that the "Slap-a-bitchomatic3000" proved her wrong.

[kergotu]

I sent off a picture of my wife to playboy to see if they'll feature her in next years calender

They've wrote back and said she can be Miss Movember

[kergotu]

"Our puppy has been rolling around in its own sh*t".

Well, that's what I've told the wife.

It's easier then explain we've ran out of toilet paper.

[kergotu]

My wife was kidnaped by a troupe of mime artists last week.

They performed unspeakable acts on her.

[kergotu]

The wife said last night, "Do you realise my mother is coming over for dinner in 5 minutes?"

I replied, "Yes I know, I'm getting ready now"


"That sounds like her car pulling up outside"


"No, that's my taxi, see you later"

[kergotu]

The wife said, "Your really good in bed" ...


"You stay on your side and rarely steal all the covers.