kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Apr 3, 2011 6:22:55 GMT 1
The first man married a woman from Germany. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from Russia. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.
And me, I man married a girl from France. I ordered her to get the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, feed the chickens and have hot meals on the table for every meal.
The first day I didn't see anything, the second day I didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and I could see a little out of my left eye, and my arm was healed enough so I could fix myself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. I still have some difficulty when urinating. ;D
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Post by Ali on Apr 3, 2011 11:01:45 GMT 1
Agggggggg hhahahahahahhahaaaaa !! ;D ;D ;D
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 19, 2011 7:37:29 GMT 1
The wife said "I'm leaving. You know the price of everything but the value of nothing". "OK, take the bus love, its cheaper than a taxi".
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 19, 2011 7:43:25 GMT 1
The wife ask me if i wanted to watch Sex in the City with her the other night.
I said, if i wanted to watch a load of over paid, fashion obsessed, bitchy divas on tv, I'd stick the football on.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 19, 2011 8:04:14 GMT 1
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
|
Post by kergotu on Sept 26, 2011 17:47:31 GMT 1
The wife says she's leaving me because I'm a compulsive liar.
Personally I reckon it's because she can't handle my 14" co*k !
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 26, 2011 18:02:19 GMT 1
Every year, on our anniversary, I carry my wife over the threshold. And every year, she keeps coming back in and shouts at me.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 27, 2011 21:41:35 GMT 1
The wife was browsing through the catalogue today. I heard her mutter to herself, "Wow. LG, 52" and a good price too." Naturally that gave me an idea of what to buy her for Christmas. Perfect really because we need a new washing machine.
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 27, 2011 21:49:52 GMT 1
I told the wife "I've got a new job having sex, live on stage".
She said "are you having me on ?"
I replied "I'll ask the boss".
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kergotu
I'm settling in nicely
Poultry Breeder
Posts: 286
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Post by kergotu on Sept 30, 2011 9:31:12 GMT 1
Another Christmas gift for the wife this year is a pet parrot. In the next couple of months, it's my aim to train it to say, "Help me, help me, they've turned me into a Parrot!" This will flip her.
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