I love blondes

[kergotu]

A blonde calls her boyfriend. She says, "Please come over here and help me. I have this new jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a cockerel."

When her boyfriend arrives, she takes him to where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, looks at the box, turns to her and says.

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a cockerel.

Let's have a cup of coffee.

Then ... we'll put all these Cornflakes back in the box." ;D ;D ;D

[kergotu]

I was talking to a blond in a pub the other night, and I said "you remind me of my little toe" is that because I'm small and cute" she said. I replied "no, because I'll probably end up banging you on the coffee table. ;D

[kergotu]

My new blonde girlfriend said I have to wait 6 months before she'll go down on me.

I totally understand and repect her decision.

I'll call her back in 6 months.

[kergotu]

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.

He then asks her why she has a ski jacket and a fur coat on.

She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said "For best results, put on two coats."

[kergotu]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in the town of Spezet.

His dummy on his knee, he's starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Just as he's getting going, a blonde woman stands up on her chair and starts shouting at him.

''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, and all in the name of humour!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells out.

''You stay out of this, mate! I'm talking to that little twat on your knee!''

[kergotu]

A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales ".

"Why do you think that ?" he said.

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says

"stit ruoy su wohs".

[ianh]

My girlfriend suggested I got one of those penis enlargers. So I did. She's 21, blonde, and her name is Lucy.

[kergotu]

A blonde's radio suddenly stops's working .....


She opens it up and finds a dead fly inside.....


She cries,

"Oh my God, The Singer's Dead!" .

[kergotu]

I went up to a blonde in a club last night and said, "They call my dick Nova"

She said, "Oh, I get it ... as in Casanova?"


I said, "No, Vauxhall Nova ... it's small and unreliable"

[kergotu]

A bit later on her fat friend tried it on with me. I ignored her for a while then she started crying and said.

"You wouldn't even take a sideways glance at me would you?".

I replied "I don't need to love, you'll always be in my peripheral vision, fatty".