Ode to a SatNav

[meldrew]

I have a little Satnav
It sits there in my car
A Satnav is a driver's friend
It tells you where you are


I have a little Satnav
I've had it all my life
It's better than the normal ones
My Satnav is my wife


It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"


It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake


It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene


It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.


I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice


It fills me up with counselling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?


Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And keeps me warm in bed!


Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I only wish that now and then
I could turn the bastard off...

[pachypach]

love it!

[Deleted]

[JohnP]

[mirabelle]

I cannot abide these things as they distract me too much. I prefer a map with a list of places, turnings, junctions etc to get me anywhere.

I have never gotten over my sister's wonderful satnav that took us to our aunt's funeral in Westgate on Sea 6 years ago. It got us there eventually then my sister set it for the crematorium in Ramsgate, so we set off then after half an hour I asked "Should'nt we be there by now??" noting that there were now signs pointing to London beside the road..................... Yes, wonderful satnav old Hectoring Helga was taking us back to London instead of the crem, hence we missed the service & everything. I am sure our aunt was laughing her head off from Up There!!