Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2012 10:18:11 GMT 1
Me Missus bought a paperback
Down town on Saturday,
I had a peep into her bag;
'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey."
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
Her left hand held a length of rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet
A cuppla minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris,
You would see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude, just naked like,
Bent forward like a coot
I took a pace to brace meself
And stood on her left foot !
Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done ?
She moaned and groaned then yelled out:
“Step on the other one!”
Well readers, I won't tell no more
What happened on that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned “fifty shades of grey”.
Down town on Saturday,
I had a peep into her bag;
'Twas “Fifty Shades of Grey."
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread.
Her left hand held a length of rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Could not have been much grimmer.
Things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet
A cuppla minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris,
You would see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude, just naked like,
Bent forward like a coot
I took a pace to brace meself
And stood on her left foot !
Old Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done ?
She moaned and groaned then yelled out:
“Step on the other one!”
Well readers, I won't tell no more
What happened on that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair
Turned “fifty shades of grey”.
