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Post by lib on Oct 21, 2012 22:30:10 GMT 1
I like the silly one liners and short jokes, like wot Ali is posting.
Whats yours?
I told my wife that black underwear turned me on ..... so she didn't wash my Y fronts for a month.
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Post by lib on Oct 21, 2012 22:32:50 GMT 1
The bell rang very early, so I opened the door in my dressing gown ......
blerdy silly place for a door.
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Post by Elkay on Oct 21, 2012 22:34:54 GMT 1
one nun said to the other nun in the bath 'wheres the soap' The other one said 'It does, doesn't it'
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Post by lib on Oct 21, 2012 22:43:05 GMT 1
In London the other week; a man came up to me in the street. He asked "Do you know the Battersea Dogs Home"?
I said "didn't know it had been away".
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Post by lib on Oct 21, 2012 23:06:46 GMT 1
Two Gold Fish in a tank.
One says to the other "How do you drive this thing"?
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Post by Ali on Oct 22, 2012 10:50:00 GMT 1
"You know you're working class when your TV is bigger than your book case." – Rob Beckett
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Post by Pasha on Oct 22, 2012 13:17:57 GMT 1
THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME STATISTICS IN THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
25% of women in this country are on medication for mental illness!
That's scary as hell, it means 75% are running around with no medication at all.
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Post by lib on Oct 23, 2012 20:54:18 GMT 1
Called in the Chemists, "got anything for wind" I said
He sold me a Kite.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Oct 23, 2012 21:06:46 GMT 1
what goes "zzub zzub zzub zzub"? A bee flying backwards!!  |
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Post by Pasha on Oct 26, 2012 15:37:27 GMT 1
A couple was Christmas shopping at the local mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around.
She was quite upset because they had a lot to do.
Because she was so worried, she called him on her cell phone to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 10 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store.”
He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."
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