Post by danceswithruskies on Feb 11, 2011 8:12:15 GMT 1
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, but she eventually says,
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear:
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.
The very next day I took the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said let's get a pair for each outfit.
We then went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you --- she was so excited!!
She must have thought that my elevator was no longer stopping on all the floors.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I really threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently, I'm not having sex tonight either.